Somedays, even one's lucky blue dragon underpants aren't enough.

Feeling a little down/quiet, so I'm posting some of my projects from today...

Is that newly polished chestnut flooring? Why, it is. And newly polished/rearranged bar to go with it. This is not a great endorsement for how smart I am, but those curtains took me an hour to jury-rig. 

Potting pansies with a chocolate stout.

Made some little matched planters of fall pansies and swiss chard. They are sweet.

Bachelor Girl Update, Day 6:

My manic can't-run-but-must-exercise walking (almost ten miles in under 24 hours) has combined with my forgetting to eat to turn me into a shaky, weak mess. So now I'm slamming scrambled eggs into my mouth like a genuine crazy person. My leg hurts, but that's old news. I have Taylor Swift stuck in my head. Today I'll brew mead in my basement, do some recreational cleaning, and maybe, if I'm good, buy myself some landscape plants to put into the yard.

So anyway, feeling pretty good.

red-breasted

 

Here's a dumb selfie I took this weekend. In which a girl drew that on my face at a festival, in which I wear my special green camping vest, in which my hair's getting too long to fit in a frame.

 



I'm dressed a little rock and roll today: strappy, tight black pants and boots, but I don't feel rock and roll. I feel all raw abs and like breathing maybe has been more successful for me in the past than right now. Some of this is probably the weather, and some of this was trying and failing to speed-run in ankle deep mud and cold water yesterday. I'm eating some beans for lunch and thinking about laundry. My mom says I never wear my hair up, but I am today, and I do a lot, especially when I'm alone in my room, eating dumb beans, and thinking about laundry.

It's been so wet. It makes the color of the trees changing out on the mountain I can see out my window look sort of fresh and vivid. Mt Doom. I sort of want to be picked up. The race did not go great, but I was glad I did it. I didn't expect the terrain. I should've checked it out beforehand, but I guess it wouldn't have made a lot of difference unless I'd checked it out months ago and drastically changed my approach. But such things.

Doesn't my dreamy, lovey post from Sunday seem a little stupid now after this childish temper tantrum crying breakdown of a week? I tell you what, I did see every inch of that stupid blood moon eclipse Wednesday morning. I woke up long before it started, around 4am, and I watched the ragged moon drag its sorry shape over every stage of the sky from shadowy crescent to a full swollen scab that finally broke on the purple line of the mountains. I hated every second of it. I tried to sleep through it.

so c'mon now, don't make me cry; everything you say has water under it

lifeboats
reeses cups
not getting it
waiting rooms
sugar maples
cups made out of red glass
pity in an english accent
quartz (redundant)
green glass beads
smoke signals
white undershirts
ignorance of cards
disregard of stars
organized paint
fall mornings
not over-doing it
foam-rolling
black wild rice (butterfly rice)
sharp nails
boots
superhero panties
vengeful depths
dap
missing the point (see: not getting it)
leather bracelets
wine red pansies
clouds on the mountains
white pumpkins

wednesday overplay

My leg turns to sparkles, my leg turns to pins,
I better get my shit together, I better gather my shit in,
You can drive a car through my head in five minutes
From one side of it to the other.

A proper storm out tonight. The rain is making such a racket, wind beating against the sides of the house. I feel a little nervous, a little manic, a little sad. I'm playing with a bear claw necklace, a gift from someone who hated me, and thinking about taking it apart, thinking dark thoughts about myself and my place among things.

This house is just so loud in the rain, or the rain is that hard. Today was sort of just little disappointments, things I shouldn't overthink, or should improve my attitude about. I worked out, but didn't run, and that's probably half my current issue, but like I said: it was raining. Do you ever notice my sentences go on too long?

I'm looking forward to a nice cool grey Tuesday.

you were a miracle I was just holding your space

I bet you'd thought I'd given this old thing up, huh? No, no. I've been moving and so it has felt like every free moment at night is taken up with unpacking or reorganizing something, and anything else is indulgence. In fact, it still does feel that way, even now, but I was engaging in a little recreational mopping tonight. I've mopped myself in and now I'm waiting for my floor to dry, so...

Once it's fully installed, I'll post some pictures of my little white hilltop house. For now, I feel a little soft tonight--not melancholy, a word I always misspell, but maybe thoughtful and somewhat...dreamy. My stomach hurts a little. Tomorrow will be a busy day.

I really do love mopping, especially with my fancy wood polishy liquid. It makes my whole house smell like almonds (mistyped: almost) and the wood nearly glows. The movement of it is oddly soothing, especially if you're feeling dumb and your stomach hurts a little.

Here's a little picture of my family from this past weekend. I'll post more this week to get back to a regular blogging schedule, because I can't let this slip up. This record is important to me. Elsewise, how would I ever remember that on the cold evening of Sunday, October 5th, 2014, I was feeling a little dopey?