how? heart of a dragon

The moon is shying around the storm clouds over the graveyard, and I'm sitting on my front porch at a little before ten, watching it, writing, drinking a beer, and feeling a bit foolish. It's starting to thunder. Even though the moon just seconds ago tucked away, suddenly, it's raining hard.

this thing you call love, she smiles too much

The bottom of my feet are tore up from running, and my skin's turning brown, so it must be almost summer. My house smells like honeysuckle, wood, herbs, incense and is so clean. These are good states for me. The valley was pretty tonight, all pink humidity sky, and my hair was unmanageable, but I liked to see it all.

If the echoes are washing up, they came for me recently in the form of an old high school friend contacting me out of the blue. She asked if I still used a screen name I don't remember having (playswithkites? ugh, yes, that sounds like me, but terrible) and if I was still a vegetarian. (I was once, for like five years. I had entirely forgotten.) Silly old things...

I guess my mind is elsewhere right now.

I love this place

This has been, categorically, a bad day. No stranger should get to have this much control over my basic sense of safety and well-being. It's terrifying, and it makes me fucking furious.

if my heart's soaking wet

One really good thing that happened today was my friend got me and my other friend matching 50s-style red aprons. It made me happy, and it was nice to be thought of unexpectedly. It is red, a color I like very much. Another good thing was filling my car with flowers, planting those flowers, and going for a long run in the cool night. I don't have too many other anecdotes. I have been keeping my head down. 

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I am having a little bit of a hard time this week. The weekend set me out of my emotional orbit some. I've started having the same old nightmares.

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I haven't forgotten my promise to tell stories from the beach, but the pictures have been stretched between my phone and camera, and I am just getting by. I will put them up eventually. As an offering, a few photo things from this weekend:

My big bad black cat.

Of the 15 varieties of native azaleas, my brother has collected 13.

He also gave me this: pulled out of the Bull Run River (of Battle of Bull Run fame, or Battle of Manassas if you're a yankee) back when we were teenagers. For my collection. Sugar quartz point, archaic period. Heavier and less balanced than my point, looks shiny-wet in a way that makes me think if I put it in my mouth, it would melt.

My people, in my brother's makeshift native plant nursery.

In my old age, I am turning into one of those girls who really likes storms.

Get fucked, stars

You're fascinated by the power of your own feelings today. However, your common sense encourages you to retreat when you get close to emotions you can't control. These conflicting desires create a bit of a paradox because you can't experience the magic if you're unwilling to fall into the shadows. Don't even pretend that you're in charge when you're not.

....Experience the magic?