I don't got this

Oh guys. Tonight was so, so bitterly stupid.

So instead of talking about it, here are some of my feelings about Indiana Jones.

Aw yeah.

I'm watching the original trilogy for the first time this week, which seems impossible given my related interests of archeology and Harrison Ford-playing-roguish-sexist-heroes. A theme of the past few months has been amending some flaws in my early education. First I corrected the gaps in my knowledge of basic science. Now: Indiana Jones. (Next maybe I'll finally see Sleeping Beauty or have math!) I really like it, obviously, but also it makes me sad for how much more and purely I would have loved it back when I was 13. I wonder how different my development and inclinations and interests and fetishes would be if I had seen those movies, instead of Star Wars, on the brink of puberty and spent the resulting decade obsessively re-watching them. Still, as an adult, they've given me a lot to think about.

• I forgot how Harrison Ford is the finest man ever to exist.
  
  
• I want to touch his face; I bet it would hurt, like touching a scalding, rugged diamond of handsomeness.
  
  
• Look at those goddamn glasses.
  
  
• In Temple of Doom, he drags an escaping girl to him with his whip for sexy makeouts. Whaatt?
  
  
• In beloved Star Wars EU Clusterfuck The Courtship of Princess Leia, I'm pretty sure they rip off that "where does it hurt for kisses?" scene from Raiders tic for tac. And by tic I mean that book is about Han Solo kidnapping Princess Leia and forcing her into an arranged marriage. Also Dathomirian witches.
  
  
• This only confirms and stabilizes my pre-existing delusions about the sexiness of archeology.