wyrd is strongest

After a weekend that could boastfully and dramatically be described as a 24-hour physical and mental gauntlet in blinding heat and humidity wherein I observed challenges and then systematically destroyed them with my body, I'm the kind of exhausted where you see ghost-shapes moving out of the corner of your vision.  But it was good; I feel proud of myself and childishly want to be praised.  I have eaten little and slept less. I even drank a whole "extra strength"  Five Hour Energy potion on the drive home to stay awake.

If I ever have those things, I take them in little sips over the course of hours like a weirdo. My mother raised me to believe that any kind of energy drink might just spontaneously kill you at any second for any reason, like a 2.99 gas station russian roulette,  so I mistrust them intrinsically. I've never just drank a whole one before today. But. I did. So now I'm house-cleaning with the feral, crazed intensity of the desperately tired but unable to sleep. Did all the laundry, vacuumed the whole house, scrubbed all the things. The bleach is stinging my little fingercuts. Mm mm mm. I am starting to feel Quite Bad.

I have this weird feeling about my little house, which isn't really part of the aforementioned bad feeling but worth remarking on or at least, I don't know, I'm finishing this paragraph. I feel like it's going away. I guess that was a thing anyway because our lease is coming/ has come due, and we didn't know that we'd renew. But the landlord hasn't asked for a new contract, and he had some appraiser by last week. I've thought for a long time that they'd sell this house out from under us, especially since the neighbor's house is for sale now. Or I don't know, maybe I'm tripping on 8,333 % of my daily Vitamin B12 and it's making me suspicious of everything. (oh God why did I do this) Anyway, it's something I'm thinking about as I'm cleaning tonight.

I really like the sound of the laundry machines running. It's an oddly soothing noise.