funny how she always cried out daddy (talk back at the ocean)

Transitioned really nicely from rage-working-out to broody shit music I liked when I was a teenager to brooding to shit music I like now. Killin' it.

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I've been in an evil mood today, the way my personality does when it folds up its neat, practical little wings and can go very still. I was talking to my friend this morning who has been going through a period of trial, and he was saying how intensely creative he feels in these low months. I don't know that this energy is especially generative, but I want to cut my teeth on something. I guess I want a little blood.


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I might still like Third Eye Blind, but I can't really get into my favorite show, The Walking Dead, anymore. After barely watching last season, I haven't been able to convince myself to even start this current season. Back when I was into it, I kind of wanted to write about what people like about zombie shows, and now I wish I had. A couple years ago, everyone was into zombie things--they were the new vampires. I think the appeal was something about how almost everyone is a little scared of death itself at their core, but everyone likes to think they can do it better or are somehow going to face it differently. Like, they would be a survivor--you know? The leader that brings everyone together, the strategist, the tough nut that sticks it out and thrives in an unexpected way. It's such a nice fantasy, especially when confronting your mortality at the hands of something essentially immortal. But the whole thing about zombie genre is that the numbers don't super work for that; there has to be that all important mindless hoard of overwhelming monsters. 99% of people just died of whatever original event turned them into zombies, and there's no cleverness or sorting for that. Statistically, you're just way more likely to be a zombo from the get-go. Or I don't know, it was a smarter write-up when I cared about zombie media.

I'm only into cowboy shows now.