How am I so depressed and exhausted this early into the darker months? It's just after 8:30 and I'm climbing into bed. Today, I tried to make myself a salad for lunch and through a freak accident, ended up sending my sharpest kitchen knife through my wrist, glancing off bone, miraculously avoiding my narrow blue veins. I dreamed that I was in my beautiful cemetery, running, and I went to finish but the gates to the exit were closed up tight against me and I was trapped with the dead. f it keeps up like this, I'll probably be dust by November. I'm in a very bad mood. 

At least running is good. Not that I have much to show for it with work being as shitty as it is and a thousand other things interrupting my planned runs. This evening, my boss texted me "are you okay?" and I realized I forgot to control my face again in a meeting. I have really got to be better about that; I can hate this job all I want but if I don't keep it up while I find another one I'll end up homeless in addition to depressed, and wouldn't that be a cute anecdote for my enemies?