Sometimes when I'm gardening, I can hear my neighbordad talking to his little sons/himself when he thinks there's no one around

(packing the two under-five year old boys into the car for a trip)

Next Door NeighborDad: What toy do you want?
Boys: ...!
Next Door NeighborDad: Godzilla?
Boys:...!!!!!
Next Door NeighborDad: And what toy does dad get? Mothra?
Boys: ! ! !
Next Door NeighborDad: No, Mothra is (boys names) toy too. What kind of toy does dad get?
Boys: ... ... ...
Next Door NeighborDad: Dad doesn't get any toys, huh? That's the truth. Dad gets a new pair of shorts. Do you know what Dad's favorite toy is?
Boys: ...
Next Door NeighborDad: Beer.
Boys: ....
Next Door NeighborDad: (to himself, reflectively) Well, it used to be video games. But I can't waste time on that when I could be playing with you two.