take your time boy I'm in no hurry--came across all the swords you buried (tell me what it's like to never worry)

I think for the week of my thirtieth I will be giving myself the present I've been flirting with all year: a total mental breakdown about everything that happened in the second half of my twenties! Just kidding, but also not. I am wore out of this sick, unfair year, and I'm too tired not to say so.

Oh my god, I need Elkhorn so bad right now. My best happiness, my place, my untouchable woods.

I came across this picture when I was clearing stuff off my camera, and I look like such a stupid goon, but it made me stop because I also look so damn happy. I know exactly when I took it: trip 5 of 13 this year: Josh and Travis, just a one nighter way down on the sites right on the creek. And I was a creek girl here, going to fetch breakfast wood, a bottle of cold champagne in my other hand, happy to be alone in the woods, listening to the high water break through logjams.

The first camping trip I went on in 2016 was at the end of February, and I was in a state where I felt like utterly nothing. That place gave me snow. It sounds shit and gay as hell, but I realized that trip that a place never runs out on you. If I wanted to put my trust in something that wouldn't disappoint, I should spend the year out enjoying these incredible woods that I washed up on. So I went a lot. And now I need to go again, and regain something.