Tired night, dull night, feeling heavy with the full moon coming up or you know, the other stuff I feel actually low about. I have been so unfamiliar to myself lately. While I know that in actuality, responding to disregard or let downs with resignation or apathy instead of confusion and devastation is probably a step in the right direction for me, the change unsettles me. The Star today, but I feel alone and tired, not charming or touched. I put a lot of my energy out. Maybe I have more to learn about what I give to other people, and what I think I need or deserve in return.
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All I want is to go camping and for people to be nice to me, so maybe I'm not actually that obscure and remote, huh? I pretty much always want that.
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Every morning lately, the first thing I do before I brush my teeth or look at my phone or get coffee or put on a bra is to go downstairs, and lie down on the couch next to Sven. He rolls over, very sleepy, and I rub his belly.
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