Such a genuine thrill to realize that my empty house means that I can have a lil cry if I have to, after having had a little day. Now evening is really getting on. My plan was to drink very very cold rose on the front porch and read the stupid history books I got out at the library while I was eating dinner, but instead I've cleaned the kitchen to within an inch of its life, made a potato salad for reasons unknown to me (not what I planned to make for dinner and something I really ever make or eat or even like), and realized that actually, I'm entirely not hungry. I have done all this while listening to a very, very corny Star Wars audio book about Quinlan Vos and Asaaj Ventress accidentally falling in love. Hmm. Perhaps the source of some of my mania.

Today, a funny thing happened while I was out on my run. There's this one squirrel who really gets that I feed the crows good shit. It always sits on one of the stumps I feed them on in the graveyard and waits for me. I don't even like squirrels, but it's just so appealing, sitting there, that I started feeding it a couple months ago. It comes up so close to my hand when I put the peanuts down that sometimes it almost scares me, like it might bite me or something? 

But I don't know - today, I knelt down, held out my hand full of peanuts, and it came up and ate them right out of my hand. It was really surprisingly gentle with my fingers. It was such a little soft nibble against my hand, the slightest brush of whiskers. Magic.