I feel warm and very still.

I can't remember a year where I was this behind in the garden. It's hot and busy in my life and I haven't had the kind of day where I can just settle in and work on it. The work days and the life days are long, and then when all the tasks and chores are done and I get around to all the pleasurable things I want to make time for, I'm out of energy and just want to lie on the couch and watch the stupid new Star War, which, of course, I love almost as much as the Pirate show. Last night, I watered the garden, cleaned up the kitchen and did the dishes, put away laundry, vacuumed, and when I looked around to stop and do something for myself, I realized it was 9:30 - too dark to do anything outside and I was too tired to write or anything fun. 

But the new moon in Gemini brought me soft, affectionate little dreams, the kind I thought I'd stopped having - or maybe it was just the smell of the catalpa blooming just outside my window: heavy, white, and sweet. Conversations where I can guess the next thing that will be said. There was no nightmare aspect to it at all, no hatred directed at me. I suppose I can still surprise myself, or maybe whatever is the energy of dreams can surprise me.  

June. This morning, I thought "oh, I'll look forward to memorial day weekend at the end of the month" and then I realized that the holiday had already come and gone. This whole year has felt like that.