Oh, a two post day. But I need to write about something else to see how I feel about it. So I had to go through all my costuming stuff, thinking of a particular skirt I wanted to dig out. It all smells like legends and makes me feel all kinds of big emotional things of which I could ramble on about a long time. But here's the funny thing though: I found my old in character journal that I kept during the first few years of larp and then, after, "donated" to the INC library when we had such things in the later part of the game. I hadn't looked at it since the end of the game some... god, 7 years ago? And beyond the happy memories of those first years, I noticed since its time in the "public library" of the game, people had obviously gone through the journal and written things on the last pages I'd left blank. Drawings of my character, funny little messages, doodles. 

And then, on the very last page, out of any other context, just the scrawled word "CUNT"

I admit, I laughed. That word, that one that's supposed wound so viciously, so specifically female, so pointed and aimed. I wonder who it was, which one of the people who came to the final years of the game wrote it and why. The joke is on them a bit - I like that word. I eat that word for fucking breakfast. And really, it's not exactly news to me. Cool story, bro, tell me something I don't know. Did the person think anyone can feel worse about me than I do?

But I suppose maybe I am a little bit upset because I closed the journal without ripping out the page, put it carefully back among my blue armor, leather pieces, scraps of fur, and came upstairs to write this.