Is it vacation mode, yet? Well, maybe holiday mode, not vacation. After all the release bullshit, I'm relieved to have the extra long weekend away from work, although the next four days have their own responsibilities and a few stresses, like family things that always tend to accumulate. As ever, a pervasive busy-ness. From my window at my desk, I can see my neighbor working in her yard and it makes me feel some mixture of jealous and guilty - I should be doing that, and will I ever have all the time I want to put into this place, to make it better, and will I ever know exactly how? 

At least tomorrow will be fun. I'm looking forward to getting up early and cooking the whole dinner. Later, winesgiving and not having to host it for a change. I should write myself a list of things not to say or think after I have 15 glasses of wine with my friends. 

My personality feels a bit dry this week. I want to post photos of the woods with vague text underneath. I want to read something, shut up my brain instead of being funny and thoughtful. At least there's a fire in my future in the next 3 hours. 

I'm gonna make a chicken instead of turkey. Everyone complains about turkey in a universal way that people also complain about the weather - "who actually even likes turkey?" - and I've even said it this week, a platitude to mouth like "how is it already November" and "cold enough for you?" (Of course it is.) I don't think that turkey is good, but I actually do like it, if that makes any sense. It's blandishness (yes I'm inventing words now) is somehow appealing with the other flavors. I think I like Thanksgiving because all those sides and traditional things I grew up eating a lot of, but I don't make them now, so it's a fun excuse to cook. My extended family was big on the "Sunday dinner" type meal with a protein, mashed potatoes, gravy, sides... I didn't like stuffing growing up, but I do like it now, partially because I think I make it better than I had growing up. That reminds me, I should take out the sausage. 

Well, what else for now? The crows are extra in my business with the cold weather. I've been reading this terrible book about the Shenadoah park murders in 1996 - by which I mean, listening to it on my run - and it's shaking me up a little bit, partially because White Oak Canyon and Dark Hollow Falls and all those trails around where it happened are well known to me. It's all about backpacking and women's safety in wilderness areas, which is something I think a lot about and maybe a reason I should have not started this book. Anyway, I was listening to it, feeding the crows like I normally do and this woman scared me so much by suddenly appearing in my route and wanting to talk about the crows. This interest in the crows from strangers happens a lot (and generally, women aren't serial killers) - but she really startled me and then she just wouldn't stop talking and asking questions. I went wide around to avoid her on my next lap. That's something I appreciate about running in the graveyard - I can usually see who is around long before I encounter them on my route. (When I'm not distracted by serial murder of course.) 

Okay, time to go wash my hair before I get it perfectly perfumed with backyard fire smoke at dog date. I should come up with some "grateful fors." You know, it's a generally good idea.