Went for a run along the San Francisco trail this morning. Having a nice flat place to run along the water is very nice, but otherwise, this place is very strange to me. I expected to really like it because normally, I would say that I like most places, and traveling from the airport, the landscape looked a bit like Greece. But I don't know, it kind of weirds me out. 

There are all these giant pieces of ugly sculpture everywhere, and the grass is so green and fake-looking. The general layout of the waterfront feels like it's staged, like in amusement park with props and landscape creating a space that people don't really use. The stores are open very weird hours, and everything is expensive and hard to do. Maybe it's because this is the financial district, with Google and all these tech companies next door, so people come here to work or remote in, but don't really live here? I'm not sure.

I'm also very confused about what time it is. I think there are three time zones in my head - one on the East coast for work and thinking about people there in relation to what part of the day it is for them, another which is the literal time zone I'm in right now, relevant to whether or not the Ferry Building market will be open in a few minutes when I try to walk down, and last, the time it is in my head which is some dream-like, confused amalgamation of all of these. It's wild! 

I'm also learning that I dressed like an idiot for this trip. I guess I was in a rush with my mom's thing (which was actually really nice, even after all my petty bitching - I'll talk more about that in another post) but it's also about 10-15 degrees below average for San Francisco this week. I might need to literally go out and buy myself a few warmer things. It reminds me of when we went to Iceland and it was August, so I just didn't have a concept of how cold it would be even though my brain knew it was a cold climate. So the whole time I was just wearing like every shirt I owned and looked like a doofus. 

Anyway, I'm trying to fight my general anxiety and sense of disconnection and actually go do stuff. I think right now I'm going to go poke around the market. I want to force myself to do things instead of just hanging out the whole week at the nearest restaurant and eating their gigantic salads the whole trip. Thursday I'll probably take the whole day off and take a ferry out to Sausalito.